If you missed the first part of this series, I talk about the roots of my rosary practice there. I am not Christian. This is just a thing I have tried in the hopes of connecting more deeply with more current femme ancestors and trying to spiritually bypass less when it comes to being spiritual as a white woman.
Today, I want to continue the journey with how I have adapted the rosary to fit who I am and my needs. I have changed wording in the Hail Mary and in the Glory Be. I have also taken out The Apostle’s Creed and have replaced it with one of my favorite hymns from childhood. I did this as a way of keeping the integrity of the prayers and ritual, but taking out the especially Christian, masculine, or patriarchal messaging. As I said in my last post about this, I am not to the point in my journey where I am ready to introduce masculinity of any sort into my practice, especially not that of The Church.
When I first started this journey back in February, I knew that I did not want to say the prayer the way it has been written, but I wanted to keep the integrity of it, the rhythm, and the deep connection of all the energy that has been put into the Hail Mary. Just like with the Lion’s Gate Portal, I believe there is a lot of energy and power that has been poured into the rosary and prayers said within it.
I changed the prayer by removing 2 words and changing 1. I did not need to consistently call myself a sinner. I removed it. I didn’t need the word Jesus. Womb is a great way to end that line. Mother of God does not currently fit my views. I changed God to all. I see Mary as the united front of the divine feminine. The other goddesses as more easily accessed fractals.
By making these small changes, I am still connecting back into that energy of Mary devotion while still making it comfortable (though not too comfortable at first) for myself. I could have completely changed the practice, but I wanted to heal the resentment caused by 10 years of Catholic schooling. Changing the ritual completely would not have kept the ritual or integrity in tact.
This next prayer I changed the entire meaning of it, but it is still the same format. I don’t believe in a singular god, and I don’t see the masculine as a creator. I see the feminine energy as that. I think that Mary, like all of us who identify as woman/femme/etc., went through the phases of maiden, mother, and crone. This practice is about connecting with her, not God, not Jesus, and sure as hell not The Church.
The rosary is about connecting with Mary, connecting with the divine feminine. Mary was one of the few ways cultures of the past kept in touch with their goddesses in a covert and legal looking way. Prayer, the rosary, is a private practice, not a public one. If you say the words, but think of the goddess of your ancestors, there is still connection.
In order to honor Mary and my connection with her better, I removed the masculine, the patriarchal overtone of the Glory Be to better find the flow of our relationship. Again, this simple change has allowed me to more comfortably access this ritual.
The final change I made was removing The Apostle’s Creed. I tried for years to memorize this for school. I can’t. It has never resonated with me. As an adult, I absolutely refuse to pledge my allegiance to The Church (or the flag for that matter). I now sing “Salve Regina” instead. I begin my rosary with it, and I end it that way, too.
One, it is so much more fun to do. Two, it connects me back to those moment of excitement rather than boredom and dread in church. It is also harder to fall back to sleep when singing. I do this practice at 4:45 on work mornings, and falling asleep has definitely happened.
One thing I struggled with while changing this ritual was is this spiritually bypassing to take out the masculine? I feel like it could be if done without reflection. I tried really hard to look at the reason I was doing it, the historical context, and then how I could do it “ethically.”
I decided to do it this so that I would pray, so that I would heal what I am aiming for. I have also made it a practice to visualize which each decade means now, historically, and biblically. The sorrowful mysteries are where I really focus in on the genocide of colonization, the spread of Christianity, etc. I pray not with blind faith but with a critical eye and the acknowledgement of the wrong doings of my ancestry.
How do you feel about tweaking old customs to fit your needs? What energies are you working with right now? How do you honor them?
Wishing you well this week! May your life offer what you need in this moment.
With love,
Aventurine ✨
I think what you're doing to change the prayers to honor yourself is brilliant! I love that you chose to keep the rhythm of the prayers. They're beautiful and inspiring! I have been working with Somatic Writing with the Ancestors with Tanya Taylor Rubinstein. I have been using tarot, specifically utilizing ideas from Ancestral Grimoire: Connect with the Wisdom of the Ancestors through Tarot, Oracles, and Magic by Nancy Hendrickson. I have been rewriting some of my ancestry stories for healing myself and my lineage. So I can relate to the idea of rewriting stories and prayers for honoring ourselves and our ancestors (past and future) for the purpose of healing. Thank you for sharing your spiritual journey and these creative ideas. Blessings!
I think it's definitely okay to make changes to prayers and practices, because the relationship with the Divine is very personal. Reading your post brought memories of a college class on Feminist Theology. Because Catholicism spread so widely, this is also a way I think of to connect with ancestors. I also want to connect to indigenous ancestors but I feel that knowledge is less accessible for me. Thank you for sharing 💜