Mindfulness Through Scent

Fighting Anxiety via the Exploration of New Smells

💖 Before jumping into this post, I just wanted to take a minute to let you know that this love letter contains affiliate links, and if you make a purchase using the links, I can make a small commission. Thanks a million 💖

Cleaning for me has always been a major stressor, even as a kid. Neither of my parents have the ability for upkeep, and that inability, that executive dysfunction shall we say, has been passed down to me. I am certainly better than I used to be, like miles and miles better, but it has taken a decade of practice, retraining my brain, and finding the practices that work for the ADHD and trauma.

To give you an idea of how bad it was as a kid, I was sleeping with dead mice in my mattress without knowing for probably a few years. I kept others out of our house to the point where they didn’t even need to come up the stairs. I’d meet them on the sidewalk. I knew we’d be taken, and I wasn’t going to let me Autistic brother fall into the hands of the state, or even worse, we end up being forced to be with Dad. Nah. I was good.

Again, it has taken a long time to overcome all of that to the point of being able to function. Let me be clear, my apartment is not spotless, but it is clean within a standard where I’ll invite people in, apologize for the ADHD doom piles, and quickly usher them out. I clean weekly, but some tasks (like mopping and vacuuming) will still have me in a complete shutdown some days.

When I first moved out, I tried Unfuck Your Habitat’s (UFYH) methods. They worked to a point, except that when I’d take a break, the executive dysfunction of both task initiation and finalization would kick in, and I’d never get back to cleaning. Though this system has not always been effective for me, it was the first thing I tried to “fix” my lacking skills and inability to human/adult. I will forever be grateful for UFYH because they acknowledge disability, mental illness, etc. They are such a caring and loving community.

One of my best friends in the entire world, my hiking buddy, has been my biggest supporter in this. He is a clean freak, and he hates it when my space is out of control. He will come in and start picking things up and reorganizing, taking out the trash, etc. This used to make me so full of shame, so embarrassed, and I would hate myself not being able to adult. Then I realized, this was what love and care looks like for him: genuinely helping with no judgment or shame attached. He has helped me a ton. He has healed so much in me around cleaning, shame, etc.

Another thing that has helped is body doubling via voice notes on IG with

Sassy Latte

whether that’s me talking to them. or they are talking to me. I need something to get my brain distracted enough to where I can do what I hate.

When these things don’t work, or when I am triggered despite having all of the support around me helping me, it is usually because of a smell.

Dawn original scent (blue) and Ajax orange and lemon are the smells of trauma for me. I can’t do it. I used to have the Dawn blue in my apartments before I realized that the smell from that alone triggers me into a panic attack and complete shut down. Now I stick to the Dawn Apple because no one in my family ever used that scent. Honestly, that alone has helped tremendously.

I am shifting into more floral and herbal scents in my apartment for cleaning. In my bathroom, I use the mint spray above and the mint all purpose cleaner for my counter, etc. I use bleach-based things as well. It is a bathroom after all, but for a quick touch up, I like the sweet mint of Mrs. Meyers. If I’m using wipes, then I like the Seventh Generation Garden Mint. Again, scent matters for me. If it smells like what I use in my classroom, I can’t do it. I can’t bring that stress and trauma into my home via scent.

In my kitchen, I have been switching over to the Mrs. Meyer’s Rose scents. I first found the counter spray and dish soap on Martie so I was able to try them with very little financial risk. They were down to 2.49, and I love the smell. It smells exactly like fresh spring roses. It is bright and floral, not old and musty. As soon as I smelled them, I knew this collection would be how I get through winter depression this year. I am also using the room spray in my bedroom, which is where I do all of my creating and work. The lightness definitely helps me feel lighter as well.

I get my cleaning supplies wherever I can find it for cheaper. I have linked some of these to Amazon as they are in stock and don’t require a subscription. I do have a subscription to Grove Collaborative though, and I have since I think 2017 or 2018. Now that I live alone without a car, I like to order my paper products, laundry detergent, and other heavy items from Grove, and it’s working out great for me. They also have all of the Mrs. Meyer’s scents that I like, and they currently have the holiday line. If you sign up with the link provided, you can get a free start gift set (valued at $50).

Amazon is an option as always, and it’s cheaper to buy in bulk there.

Finally Martie, my new favorite cost effective way to shop, has a variety of cool and unique food and other products. You need to just keep a look out for what they have. Things go quickly. This link will give you $10 off your first purchase. I often get 20-25 items for $50-60 at Martie. It has been amazing especially for buying snacks for my students. Side note: Right now, they have organic protein shakes (like ensure type stuff) for like $6 instead of $14 if that is something you or a loved one need. I know these drinks are important for many chronically ill, disabled, and elderly folks.

These small changes, which have taken me a decade to make, have made and will continue to make all the difference in the world for me. I will not ever cross scents at home and at work, at home and with the past. I have spent so many days having to stop the heavy breathing, the racing heart, the sweaty palms, and racing thoughts because of the trauma cleaning or not cleaning has caused. I am so happy to have found that most of the triggers now are because of smell, and that is something that I can have full control over.

Here are some journal prompts: What is something that you have had to overcome that is on the easy side for most people? How were you able to do it? Are there additional tweaks you can make when considering additional sensory input?

What is your FAVORITE scent(s)? Do they change with the season?

Wishing you well this week! May your life offer what you need in this moment.

With love,

Aventurine ✨