Chiron Activate! Resurfacing Wounds That Never Heal

Astrology Chat

Chiron is not a celestial body that I have often spent time thinking about, but within the last couple of weeks, I have really noticed its presence in my life. My Chiron is in Cancer, and that’s a hard placement for someone who was brought up very family oriented.

Between June 25th and June 29th, The Sun was conjunct my natal Chiron. The 25th was the evening I ended up on a 4.5 hour call with my older brother, which, of course, was pretty much just a rehashing of trauma after trauma after trauma. I was exhausted for DAYS afterwards. DAYS!

From there, the conversations with other family members have skyrocketed. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is coming in all at once.

Chiron is an asteroid, and in astrology, it is assigned as the wounded healer in our charts. It is named for the centaur Chiron of Greek mythology. These wounds are deep seated wounds that are likely to never be fully healed. We just come to learn how to navigate them better, revisit lessons, etc. They can help us develop more empathy, compassion, and grace for ourselves and others.

Chiron in Cancer in the 4th house is about wounds surrounding home and family especially. Those of us with this natal Chiron are often going to feel like we don’t belong, feel rejected, and like nothing we do is going to be good enough for our family (bio, adopted, or found). It is a path of learning to nurture and care for others. I think, personally, it is also a path of learning about how to do that without falling into codependency out of fear of repercussion.

I noticed this strong activation right as the Astrology Group Coaching for July was about to start. I knew that as I was guiding others, I wanted to look more deeply at my Chiron because woof! It’s a lot.

My mom reached out to me on Saturday asking if I wanted to do a watercolor class with her. I told her I would at some point, but that I can’t afford the $100. This is new for me to be so open and candid about my finances with my family, especially when it comes to something fun. I was proud of myself for setting that boundary and keeping it. The prior week, I ended up spending money on an activity I didn’t want to do and ended up not even attending. We see the pattern?

She responded with “Ok. I know it’s a little expensive.” I could hear and feel the disappointment and rejection in her voice, and I had to make sure my next steps weren’t out of codependency and the need to regulate others’ feelings for them.

I took the time to call her and explain that I am interested in doing things like that with her. I love the idea of accountability and exploring art together because it’s not anything that we have ever done… EVER. What if we did some of the lessons from Andrea Nelson Art?

My mom said she would pay for the class because it’s a teacher she absolutely loves and respects, but when I mentioned the free lessons and that we can just use what we have, she agreed that it’s best if we did that. My mom is a notorious impulse and dopamine shopper. I really do try to avoid things that have her spending additional money (we’re picking up on the codependency trends?). So, we started Saturday with what we have and with our best efforts.

My mom and I used to be besties, connected at the hip. We were often described as Lorelai and Rory (though I was terrible in school). We grew apart when she moved 2100 miles away, married a MAGAt, and I had my eyes opened to how much of my childhood actually wasn’t ok. Truly. I just didn’t know. I wasn’t aware of the wounds from family until I was around 25-26. I have never been able to get back to loving my family fully, like I had through childhood and most of teenagehood.

I keep expecting my accomplishments, my life, my existence to be enough. I don’t mean praised or gaga’d over, just seen and accepted. Every single time I think I’ve cleared out those expectations and learned to accept the rejection and betrayal of family, something else comes and knocks me back down because as it turns out, I still have the need and desire to be accepted and loved as I am: fucked up teeth, exuberance, flaws, and all.

They can say they love me, but actions truly do speak louder than words.

My mom and I made it 2 sessions before I was compared to a failure, to someone who can’t see things through because I didn’t finish my SpEd cert. For the record, I have 3 degrees, a teaching license, and two other professional certifications. It was odd to hear because my mom has never put too much emphasis on college, etc. She never went to college. She did trade school. I didn’t fight it though. I just pointed out my qualifications within my field and went back to talking about our paintings.

It is interesting how and when astrology becomes apparent in our lives. Chiron stations retrograde at the end of this month. We can be prepared for wounds to cycle back through. The more aware of astrology I become the more I have to ask, “Is this fated, or can I change it?” If it is fated, can I accept it, learn, and grow? Or am I still too hurt and upset to move to acceptance? For some family members, I have healed enough to accept and move on. For others, I will be grieving their existence until the day they or I take the last breath. I hope at some point, the grieving can come to an end, and acceptance with peace as my initial response rather than tears and pain. Maybe some day I can get closer to the Six of Cups.

This Chiron placement, these thoughts, these wounds remind me of the Ten of Cups and how chosen family can be a balm in so many ways. Does chosen family mean you’ll never be hurt? No, but for me, oftentimes, that hurt is more forgivable than the hurt of those who should love my unconditionally.

I am grateful to be aware of astrology because while we do need to take accountability for our actions, change, grow, and heal having an extra point of guidance cane be helpful. I know it has brought me comfort and has helped me feel less like I’m just doing life wrong. It also helps when astrological events appear to be putting things in motion such as incredibly triggering conversations, hurtful comments, and random anxiety about rejection!

Have you worked with your Chiron before? You can find out your Chiron here. Are there things in your natal chart that have helped you make sense of some of the themes or events in your life?

Wishing you well this week! May your life offer what you need in this moment.

With love,

Aventurine ✨

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