I was born with my Mars in Aries. I often blame my temper on it. Over the last couple of years, I have really begun to tune into and claim my Aries placements. As I’ve talked about before, I have been collecting Aries femmes for the last 6 years or so, and it has been healing. The only thing I knew about Aries growing up was that my dad is an Aries, and he’s mean. Like meeeeaaaaannnnnn. Finding my wonderful Aries femmes/women has been healing and full of love. Through them, I have begun connecting more with my Aries placements and feeling less guilt about the intensity of my reactions and emotions. Passion and intensity aren’t bad, but there is the correct context for these things.
As Mars made its move into Aries this past week, I have noticed that my nerves and patience are shot and raw. I am struggling to keep it together, and I started realizing that this is the first Mars in Aries transit that I am aware that I am experiencing, and that got me thinking, what have the rest of them been like? I went searching, and I have to say… wow. These transits have been times of serious upheaval, fight for your life, and intense emotional and sometimes physical distress.
This post is going to be vulnerable. I am going to talk about things going wrong in my relationship(s), feelings of abandonment, and major betrayals that almost cost me my livelihood. This post will turn into a paid post at these more intense parts in order to protect myself and my loved ones.
I left my ex on 5/1/2014, moved in with my grandparents, focused hard on finishing my BA, and I immediately fell in love with my current partner. In January 2015, I started getting serious about finding jobs that could pay enough to support me, as my savings had run dry. In February of 2015, I got a job at a local YMCA toddler room, and it was hell on earth.
I was still figuring out my gluten free, dairy free lifestyle which meant a huge loss in weight from bloat and having to reteach myself how to eat. I mainly subsisted off fruit and nuts. At my new job, I could not eat any nuts due to some dead-within-minutes reactions in that classroom. I had no immune system as I had never worked with kids before, and my new dietary changes meant very little energy or extra fat to keep me going as I got sicker and sicker.
By the time Mars moved into Aries that February, I had already had 3 different flus, and by the time Mars moved out of Aries at the end of March, I had lost 10 pounds from being so incredibly ill every week for weeks, and I was still working every day and traveling in the winter weather to get to those jobs. This was the transit that ended in me being so frail that I could barely walk and with a cracked rib from undiagnosed bronchitis. I didn’t know if I would be able to continue having 2-3 jobs, but I knew I wanted an apartment with my partner so I kept pushing.
Mars is not just about rage and anger and passion. It is also about determination and the drive to stick to it until you conquer your goals. I have never thought of myself as goal-oriented, but I reflect back on what I have accomplished, and I think that maybe, just maybe I am, especially when I get to be solely focused on those goals.
Fast forward to January 2017 and December 2018, these two Mars in Aries transits were mirrors of each other, and they were very, very isolating and hard years. The resentment I felt was overwhelming and all consuming. I was a dark cloud of hatred and hurt.
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