New Traditions

Winter Holidays

This year, my partner and I are hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. It is nerve-wracking, but there will only be 6 of us, and I think we are all excited for a change of pace. I know that I am certainly excited to not be eating turkey this year. I despise turkey. It’s bland. It’s dry. Please, give me anything other than that. So, B and I are taking matters into our own hands, and we have decided to host.

In choosing to host, we have decided to do a couple of ducks. We have practiced with 2, and we will definitely need at least two ducks for 6 people. One thing that I have come to love about Thanksgiving with my local family is how small it is. I grew up spending Thanksgiving between Idaho family and local family. Growing up, I preferred my Idaho family because it was less formal and honestly the food was better, but I can no longer eat safely there, and I don’t need all of the political fighting and misogyny in my life anymore. So, at home wins, and while it has always been a little formal, I am looking forward to starting a new tradition by eating the foods that taste good to us.

Our menu is as follows:

• 2 Ducks

• Lamb and Chicken Biryani

• Brussels Sprouts

• Roasted Potatoes

• Mushroom Gravy

• Pumpkin Crisp

• Apple Crisp

• Tea Bar

I have never hosted a family event so I have been gathering little things here and there to help it feel special. I gathered cloth napkins and a centerpiece (all on clearance ~$20 for 8 cotton napkins and a centerpiece), but now, I have found a dish set that matches my centerpiece, and the green matches the kitchen walls. While buying a new set of dishes won’t become a tradition, I think it would be really lovely to begin a new tradition with something cohesive rather than our mismatched dishes we have going on. This entire ordeal will be very different from our more formal occasion as we’ll have people eating on the couch, chairs, or at the table, but it won’t be the formal table we’ve been eating at since my mom and aunts were all kids. I think the cohesiveness of new dishes can add a bit of class to an otherwise casual affair.

Another new thing that is happening this year is that we won’t be doing a gift exchange for Xmas as a family. I will still be buying for friends, my partner, and my immediate family, but as an extended family? Nope. We’re done with that. So, I decided to start a new tradition for Thanksgiving and December. I’ve bought everyone advent calendars like the one above to suit their tastes.

We’re a nerdy family that loves words and puzzles. I figured since we’re not doing gifts for Xmas, people should have something fun to do each day until we see each other again on 12/25. Here’s what I’ve bought for people:

• Mom: Logic Puzzle Advent

• Mom’s Husband: Word Search Advent

• Grandma and Aunt: Crossword Advent

• Grandpa: Sudoku Advent

• Cousin: Chocolate Advent

• Partner: Labooko Chocolate Advent

• Hiking Buddy and His Family: Ornament Advent

And my mom bought me for my birthday the Mochi Bujo advent calendar. I am so grateful and excited. Thank you, MOM!

I am not sure how this new idea will go over, but I hope it gives people something fun to do, and I am looking forward to hearing how it went for people when we all gather again. They’re wrapped and under Fiona the Jade Plant waiting for Thursday when everyone arrives.

One last thing that I would love to embark on with my family is interaction outside of gossip and storytelling about people only a quarter of us know. I want there to be bonding through games, movie watching, or even taste testing. I have this hope that we can sit down and play Dixit, Tokaido, Sushi Go, or Facts in Five.

I also would love, since we aren’t do gifts, for people to bring multiple flavors of their favorite brand of drinks or snacks, and we can have a taste testing session. I am a teacher. I can come up with amazingly cute and engaging activities in my sleep. We just have to get over this expectation of family gatherings must be boring.

If push comes to shove, I want to put on Home Alone and make people just sit down and enjoy. Truly, there are so many ways to engage and have fun with each other instead of breaking off into the same groups where people feel left out, bored, shunned, etc. There are only 10-13 of us depending on the year. It does not need to be this difficult.

One tradition that I will not be changing is the stockings. They are my favorite part because my mom used to make them so magical. They looked like Santa himself designed them up at The North Pole. I will continue keeping a few things the same even if I am reading to change the majority.

Being the organizer of the family, especially one who is trying to change up decades worth of traditions in one year can be exhausting. There’s this pressure I can feel I am putting on myself for everything to be perfect so people can see that it is worth it to change and get outside of our comfort zones. These changes aren’t just ones I’m making for my entire family, but there are changes I am making for me and my partner. For instance, the symphony is doing A Muppet Christmas Carol this year, and I am going to splurge on that for us, his sister, and my brother. We are going to make memories throughout the season this year, not just on a certain day. We aren’t religious. The joy of the season doesn’t need to be placed on a single day. I want to scare away the seasonal depression by filling ourselves with joyful experiences, not just materialistic goods.

What are your holidays looking like? Is there anything you want to change this year? What are you favorite traditions?

Wishing you well this week! May your life offer what you need in this moment.

With love,

Aventurine ✨