
Good morning!
On Friday, I was pulling my cards for the day, and the King of Cups popped up. Personally, I still don’t love the court cards, especially not the cups court cards. They’re just a little too well regulated for my perpetually dysregulated self. The King of Cups always feels like a slap in the face of all my emotional shortcomings. Friday though? I got clarity.
One of my goals for this year is financial healing. Like many, I have a lot of trauma stemming from money, financial burden, etc. I am both terrified of failing and succeeding. This push from the King of Cups felt deeply like a push in that direction. “We are only 3 days into the year. Don’t give up on your healing goals so quickly.”
I use The Guardian of the Night Tarot for my daily pulls. Right before I pulled this card, I had written in my prayer journal for the motivation and dopamine levels to get done a bunch of administrative paperwork I’ve been putting off: OHP application, job application, vlog editing, etc. These things have been looming over me as a cloud of anxiety, depression, and evidence of my inability to adult. Thanks, ADHD! I have talked recently about how destructive that cycle of self deprecation from ADHD is, and I will write a plea for help to the divine every time it becomes to much.
In response, I got this King. I was annoyed at first. I don’t want a lecture on regulation, on breezing through life, on going with the flow. I’m stressed and hating myself. Then it clicked.
This message was literally, “Regulate your emotions so you CAN do the work you need and want to do.” Getting stuck in the anxiety and shame spiral will never help. In order to get out of that, I have to get the looming things done, but how do I do that while I’m in a huge dopamine crash and shaking with anxiety? Ground. Breathe. Calm. Get perspective.
And you know what? It worked. It took me a couple of hours to calm down enough to even grab my computer, but I did it. I started my vlog, and then I began writing a new résumé. I didn’t finish either of them, but I got over that task initiation hurdle. The tasks have been initiated. I can go back to them. They didn’t hurt me. They didn’t burn me. Yeah, they were a bit boring, but the world did not shatter upon initiation.
One of my goals for this year is financial healing. Like many, I have a lot of trauma stemming from money, financial burden, etc. I am both terrified of failing and succeeding. This push from the King of Cups felt deeply like
If you have ADHD/ASD and really struggle with task initiation and transition, try regulating your body and mind first. Get that snack, the mandatory 3 types of drinks, verbally babble to help you transition. Do what you need to do. Our accommodations are there to help us. They are not there for others. Trust your knowledge about yourself and your needs.
I am grateful for this wake up call from my tarot deck, from the King of Cups. Again, this has never been a card that I’ve connected with, but I think that there is some benefit to being able to push down feelings in order to get through a task. Better would be to regulate, but if you don’t have that privilege, I think there is a message of “get through, process later” within this. If I am healing my financial dears and trauma, then I need to be able to face things head on. Applying for state health insurance, a new job, actually filing my taxes are all steps in the right direction. They are the BORING steps, the steps that make me want to cry and screech and turn into a banshee because the dopamine levels are in the negatives.
The King of cups is not a call to destruction, invalidation, or dissociation, but instead a call to working through in order to create and process in a safer space later.
What are your feelings about the King of Cups? How do you regulate your emotions through a hard task? Do you struggle more with task initialization or finalization?
Wishing you well this week! May your life offer what you need in this moment.
With love,
Aventurine ✨
This was exactly what I needed to hear today. I am starting back to work after a few months on leave and it hurts my soul, but this morning I feel a little spark. I saw your post and realized my card for today is also the King of Cups, appropriate Monday energy boost. Thank you!
I felt this! Thanks for sharing. It’s definitely a push in the right direction to get my shit together even if it’s just to complete one task at a time. I’m on the financial healing journey too!