Five of Pentacles: Victim Mentality

Tarot Chat

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Good morning!

The Five of Pentacles has been on my mind this past week. I got some rather upsetting news about my sister, and we are not close so I can’t just talk to her and ask her what’s up. I think that would make it worse. As my brother and I texted about it, I mentioned that she and Dad do the same thing: push everyone away, isolate, and then live according to the consequences of this self-induced isolation. This usually means poverty or a pretty severe cut off from community resources.

It made me think of the Five of Pentacles. While traditionally, it is definitely a card that I’m sure many of us have experienced: falling on hard times, being ostracized, etc., I think that there is another angle to this card that I haven’t really seen many people speak of: Victim Mentality.

I am using the context of my lived experience and familial experience to contextualize this. I have found that as I process life, I am often coming back to tarot to help me ground and contextualize. Tarot is beautiful because each card has a very life-at-a-certain-phase energy. It’s why it works.

Every Christmas when I was a kid, I would come home bawling my eyes out thinking about my dad spending Christmas by himself. To me, it was a day filled with so much joy and love and togetherness that I couldn’t bear the idea of him being lonely. What I didn’t understand until I was much, much older was that he had chosen that life. He had chosen that isolation and in turn to be the victim when it suited him. He missed out on emotional and physical resources by pushing everyone away from him.

My sister her entire life has also been running, but now she’s up and left the 2-2.5 decades of community she has built. She has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s generalized acute neuropathy, and her new partner has been diagnosed with cancer. She lives 6-8 hours from our brother and every other support system she’s had in place, and I am a plane ride plus a good hour drive away. Sooooooooo… what to do?

What do you do when the people in your life insist on being victims, insist on never healing from their wounds, but instead isolate, stay in their desolate era, are the victim archetype? For the most part, I have washed my hands of both of them. There is nothing I can do. When my dad does ask for help, I pull through. Last year, when his car blew up on the freeway, my partner and I rescued him and drove him the 70 miles home. When he has needed money for food and bills, I have paid. Until the asking and willingness to accept happens, there is nothing we can do.

This post may have you feeling a certain kind of way, especially since this card is traditionally about very desolate, dire situations. I speak not of the homeless people on the streets being promised housing then being displaced and undergoing sweeps before services are given, the families living in motels and cars whose adults are working as hard as possible to pull themselves out of poverty. I am instead speaking of the people in our lives who prefers to be in this state of hurt, of misery, of isolation, and at extremes desolation.

My brother and I have made a pact. We will try to keep tabs on our sister, but we know there is nothing that can be done until she asks and accepts. When that time comes, I will get on a plane. He will drive up. We will be there to support each other and her. Until then, we hope.

Side Note: It is the full moon! If you would like a full moon reading, you can sign up here.

I am curious as to if this resonates for you and your lived experiences? What are your thoughts on the 5ofP? Let me know below!

Wishing you well this week! May your life offer what you need in this moment.

With love,

Aventurine ✨