Feel Goods That Don't

The Horridness of Boomer Facebook Memes

I would like to start this post with a trigger warning for ableism. If severe ableism via inspiration porn is not something you can stomach right now, please do not read farther. Keep yourself and your mental health safe.

I am special education teacher. I am neurodivergent. My brother is Autistic, and even though he is only two and a half years younger than me, I helped raise him. Disability has always been a part of my life, and in the last 6 or so years it has become even more prominent as I meet some of the coolest people I’ve ever known who are also disabled. I am learning what advocacy looks like for me, if that’s a role I can actually fit into.

When I was sent one of the disgusting Facebook memes about special needs children that ends of centering the poster/sharer rather than any form of disability advocacy today, I blanched. I was infuriated and offended that one of the people closest to me, most intimate in my circle would not only send me that but also put the tearful eyes emoji.

I am starting my advocacy here so that I can get the vitriol out of my system, and I can talk to this love of mine with dignity and education rather than hate and disgust.

This is the meme in question. Upon first glance, it’s whatever, and it certainly is not the most offensive one out there, but there are a lot of problems with this particular post.

First, the last statement in this picture takes the emphasis off of the acceptance and love that disabled kids and adults are entitled to just by being alive, and it suddenly turns the poster into a savior by having a strong enough heart to acknowledge the existence of disabled kids.

Secondly, this post seems to forget that children grow up, and they become adults. There is so much disdain and hatred for disabled folks, especially those with very visible disabilities. (My “invisibly” disabled friends, I know that you are on the receiving end of ableism, too. I see you, babes. Promise.)

Finally, let’s talk about the cartoon used. I love cartoons, animation, all of that. It is actually my preferred media to watch (yes, even at almost 35). I grew up with Pinky and the Brain. It was the best. It was funny. It was short. The Animaniacs was top notch 90s, early 2000s television. What Pinky should not be used for is the poster child for disability, not even intellectual disability. The absolute disrespect given to the community of disabled children (adults, community) by using Pinky is outrageous and blatant.

Back in the day, 2006-2015 I saw posts like this a lot. I’m sure I even shared a few especially when thinking about my brother still being in high school. I feel like by 2010 or so I was definitely 22 and over all of that nonsense. If you are still sharing or liking posts like this, please consider if this is actually because you support the disabled community or you support the ~idea~ of someone you know and love thinking they support the disabled community.

If you are interested in Disability Justice, I wrote a book review on The Future Is Disabled. You can buy that book here, and another one I am currently enjoying and reading is Care Work. Both books are by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha. A quote that stuck out to me from Care Work this week is:

Those words: sick, disabled, healer. Do you think of them in the same sentence? Do you think think a sick, mad, Deaf, neurodivergent, and/or disabled person can heal? What do you think healing is? Do you think it means becoming as close to able-bodied as possible? Do you think it is always sad or terrible to be sick or disabled? Do you think everyone wants to be able-bodied and neurotypical and would choose it if they could? Does healing justice mean to you that some day no one will be disabled or sick because there will be no toxic waste and healthcare for all?

Everyone I know longs for healing. It’s just hard to get. The good kind of healing. The healing that is affordable, has childcare and no stairs, doesn’t misgender us or disrespect our disabilities or sex work, believes us when we’re hurt and listens to us when we say what we need; understands that we are the first and last authority on our own bodies and minds.

When we tap into the disabled community, listen to what is being asked for: it’s care. It’s respect. It is not memes with the failed science experiment as the poster child for disabilities.

Walk through the world with patience and compassion. People who know my Aries moon and Mars will scoff at me saying this, but I will always in my heart of hearts try to give space for people to be who they are, use the accommodations and modifications they need. There is something that is happening in the education system right now, that’s that we are being told that students should not have modified work even when it would best benefit them, their disabilities, and their abilities. We don’t need to teach, heal, treat to the standard and hope of neurotypical brains or able-bodied experiences. We need to accept, accommodate, and modify so our fellow humans can succeed in their own, unique, best-for-them ways.

Wishing you well this week! May your life offer what you need in this moment.

With love,

Aventurine ✨