Death: The Card of Change

Tarot Chats

Apr 07, 2025

I am in another Death year. (You can calculate your tarot year here.) My other Death years have been when I was 1, 18, and 28. I don’t remember a thing about when I was 1. I do know that my mom wanted to leave my dad, but he threatened to take me in the divorce so she stayed. It was also the year he quit his job without telling her leaving all 5 of us without insurance. A+ partnership there. In 2007, I was 18 and graduated high school. Obviously, that’s a huge change. In 2016, when I was 28, I got serious about my health, my pain, and I learned about crystals. It cracked open this entire spiritual world for me. I began dabbling, and then becoming more serious, and here we are again, in a 13 year.

I am much more settled in some ways, and in others (financially, career-wise), I am in limbo waiting for the winds of change to really thrust me forward. Being older, having more life experience, living on my own for 4 years prior to this Death year has brought me lessons that are allowing for this more easeful transition and change. I am not throwing myself into therapy because I am at my breaking point with my mental health. I am not spending 60% of my waking hours outside trying to break my body and become one with the roots and bedrock. The approach I am taking for this season is far more grounded and balanced.

This is becoming a season of allowing me to release old ways and embrace newer, more simplified, less all or nothing thought patterns. I am grateful. Time in nature is less intense, but it is still valid. Time in my journals also looks different, and it too is valid.

I am loving being in my bujo with my personal journaling again, but I started to have that awareness of tariffs, price increases, and the need to become more frugal. So I am switching back to my beloved lined notebooks that I often give up on. Will I be able to stick with them? I hope so.

I’m allowing myself the freedom of decorating those journals as I go. For some reason, I got it in my head that I needed this rule that my Compendium lined notebooks are too special (?????) to be used as scrapbooks, stickers, washis, inserts, etc. I needed it to be all writing all the time and in the nicest handwriting so it looked professional. GIRL. WHY?! I hate my brain sometimes. All this has done has deterred me from using notebooks I enjoy using and that are actually very helpful because I have the chance to quickly finish them. And what does an ADHD brain love more than dopamine from checking off a list?

Another expectation I had been trying to force on myself was filling an entire page or two, and it has kept me from consistently journaling for almost 3 years. Instead, I am allowing myself half a page per entry. It doesn’t need to be a full half page. It can go over, but I am not going to force myself to write when I don’t have much to say.

So, releasing all or nothing, releasing self-imposed, nonsensical rules I’ve arbitrarily made up for myself and ONLY me. I would never hold anyone else to these ridiculous standards.

Another all or nothing stance that is changing for me is that if I am outside I need to be walking a brisk 5-7 miles each time. Well, when I didn’t have the energy for that, I was in too much pain, or the weather wasn’t cooperating, I wouldn’t even try. With my 30 Days Outdoors, I am releasing that. Yeah, yesterday, I only walked 2 miles for the entire day, but I spent time planting my grow bags, and the day before, I repotted 13 succulents. I did those outside. I did those fully aware of the sun on my neck, warming my body. I did those things knowing I should put on gloves because I hate the feeling of soil, but I didn’t because it turns out that I hate gloves more. Sensory issues, ftw! I connected with plants in a more intentional way, and I got to nurture them rather than just forage/take from more natural, public spaces.

Would I like to walk 5-7 miles each day again? Honestly, yes, but it holds no interest for me right now. I am in a different stage of my life. I am no longer running into the woods to lose myself and leave my life behind. I am instead grounding at home, being more intentional and thankful.

Y’all! Those are broccolis and potatoes!! OMG! Gardening is about to become my entire personality. Be prepared.

I think gardening on a fairly small budget (I’m giving myself $100, and I am already at $60 spent) is also helping me embrace the middle road. No, I can’t grow enough food to feed us for each meal. Idek if we will get ONE meal out of these, but I want to do it, and I AM doing it in the “some” range. This is huge for me. The words some, moderation, part are all things I’ve wanted in my life. I actually say, “All things in moderation” multiple times per month to people, and yet, I am rarely able to follow my own advice. I feel like my Death year is moving me out of these self destructive mindsets and into more balanced and achievable ones.

I will definitely me checking in at the 6 month mark to see how half a year with Death has been.

Do you know your tarot year? Is it resonating for you? If you happen to be in your Death year, what changes have you noticed?

The Oracle Portal

Discussion about this post